I Require Special Handling

           

I believe that if I truly live into my own power and become all that I desire to be, my mate is going to have to be pretty strong in a lot of ways. He’s going to need to be very grounded and confident, to have done his inner-work, and to be able to really listen to me, support me, encourage me, and uplift me. In essence, he’s part of my “production team.”

If I’m not going to be a single woman alone on this journey, then he is going to have to be willing to be my sounding board. I’m going to need that. With someone around me daily, I’m going to want to share a lot, FAR MORE than I would if I lived alone. I’m naturally going to seem a bit more demanding than the average woman. My personal mission is bigger than the average person’s…period.

If I feel like my mate is inaccessible (overall and regardless of why), if my ability to share overwhelmingly feels limited, unpredictable, or inconsistent, I will end up questioning why I should be in a relationship at all. What is the point? For me¸ this is what “companionship” is. What I listed prior is what I need (well…my needs are always met, so let me say, “…what I desire or prefer”) to make me want to stay in a relationship and to thrive.

            
A relationship without that is an unnecessary relationship in my eyes. What purpose does it serve to look at and deal with another human being on a daily basis? If the only place I can go to get these things consistently is within, to the God within, then I might as well be without so I can be free to go within even more. In other words, relationships can be distracting – even good ones.

            
I’m actively doing delicate inner-work, with a delicate spirit, with a delicate mission. I need someone who can help move me along on my path to greatness instead of hindering it. Thinking about it further, this person just might need to be stronger than me, more grounded than me, more self-sacrificing than me, more sure of himself (and of me) than me. If he’s not, he just might end up getting/being in my way, slowing or altering my forward movement unintentionally.

            
I need to have someone that won’t use my thoughts, feelings, or insights against me in the future by using them to label me, judge me, categorize me, have pity on me, or think he’s “figured me out,” putting the scattered pieces I share together in a manner that fits his schema. I just HAVE to be able to share the depths of me with a sense of safety, faith, and trust that I will be handled with special care.

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